A mere day after New Years’, the shelves at Wal-mart exploded into a mass of pink and red hearts, cuddly teddy bears, dancing gorillas, candy-filled mugs, glittery picture frames, shiny chocolate boxes and matching candle holders.

The commercials on TV began, various jewelers aiming to convince any dedicated boyfriend or husband that he must purchase those diamond earrings (starting at only $99!) or that special gold necklace (starting at only $199!) if he wants to successfully pass the Valentine’s Day test. Cell phone providers are offering a two-for-one phone deal with mail-in rebates; if you really love someone, you’ll buy them a new gadget for the nation-wide celebration of love.

Hallmark has even branched out from their usual marketing propaganda by now trying to convince middle school girls that if their mothers don’t purchase a $5 singing Hannah Montana card to stick in their lunchbox, they aren’t even loved by their own families. (Homemade lunchbox surprises apparently do not count).

In attempting to research the origin of Valentine’s Day, I’ve come up with a few different accounts. Some say that it comes from the saint who continued to marry couples even when marriage was outlawed by the Roman emperor Claudius II, who thought that married men made poor soldiers. Some say that he fell in love with a jailer’s blind daughter and healed her with his faith, leaving her a note signed “from your Valentine” before he was executed for his beliefs. Some say that the saint who gave children cards and candy, after being imprisoned, was so missed by his young friends that they slipped sweet notes to him through his jail cell window. Of course, most say that the time of year coincides with ancient pagan rituals, as is common with Christian holidays.

Though I am unable to determine exactly how Valentine’s Day originated, one thing is very clear: these accounts are weak on money and marketing. Of candy and flowers there is a little, but most of the stories talk about martyrdom and sweet, hand-written love notes. They skip over all mention of diamonds, teddy bears, and cute little $5 mugs, and the term Hallmark is simply nowhere to be found.

While I consider myself a fairly progressive woman, sometimes you have to just appreciate some of the values of the good old days when it comes to holidays. Not the 1950s, but just the plain old 50s. Before all the nonsense phrases like “he went to Jared!” or “diamonds are a girl’s best friend.” Personally, my best friend is my cat and a book, neither of which I expect to present me with a little box once a year with a $200 price tag attached to the bottom.

While I love sweet affections from my boyfriend (who doesn’t?), I’ve got to say that I’d rather he tell me that he loves me every day and surprise me with candy or a date when I’m not expecting it, instead of these activities being exclusive to Feb. 14.

Now really, what’s the point? Who benefits from Valentine’s Day? Certainly not the poor freshman girl in high school with braces and no boyfriend who watches all of her snotty classmates get a rhinestone bracelet and a half a dozen roses in exchange for a roll in the hay that night. Not the woman whose husband was just killed in Iraq. Not the college kid who just started dating this guy a month ago and doesn’t know if she’s supposed to get him a new pair of boxers, or a box of candy or nothing at all. Not the guy who feels obligated to turn his last $20 into long-stemmed roses, chocolate, dinner, a movie and a tennis bracelet. Not the couple who feels that failure to complete “the perfect date” indicates some kind of deficiency in their relationship. Not the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgendered, Questioning couple who watches all the heterosexual geared commercials for at least a month before the big day.

No, as far as I can see, the only people who benefit at all from Valentine’s Day are the people at Hershey’s and Hallmark. While I’m all for job opportunity and the display of creativity, I don’t know that I can approve of something that so clearly comes at the expense of the happiness and well-being of so many ordinary innocent citizens of America. Sorry, Hallmark, but I’m going to have to vote against you on this one.