Moving away from home for the first time and sharing a room with a stranger can be a stressful situation for many first year students.

The idea of moving in with a complete stranger can be an intimidating event for people, but there is, for the most part, no escaping that situation as an incoming freshman at UW-Platteville. The goal is for people to meet someone new and different from themselves, and also how to deal with those differences in a positive way.

Photograph by Jodi Krautkramer
From left, residents Benjamin Hanneman, Chad Niehaus, Dave Steinmetz, Sean Hayes and Tim Aerts bond over a game of cards in Hugunin Hall.

“It can be a scary situation to suddenly have to open up and share such a small space with a stranger,” Jen Little, Southwest Hall resident director, said. If both students are open to each other, the experience can be mutually beneficial and students can learn valuable life skills.

“Communication is super important, as well as being yourself,” Little said.

Resident assistant’s require their residents to sign Roommate Agreement Forms, which decide when and if they will have visitors in their room, and talk about their schedules and sharing of items.

“We’re starting to get past the honeymoon phase, when they want to get along so bad, now it’s time to talk about everything,” Little said.

“It is more common that freshman coming into campus had their own room at home,” Dierdre Dalsing, counselor, said. Students therefore have not needed to worry about sharing their own space, and worrying about another person.

“It is important to define your space, as well as your roommates before you get settled,” Jeremy Pietkauskis, Pickard Hall senior assistant, said.
“When somebody doesn’t feel like their space is theirs anymore, they may get angry of frustrated,” Pietkauskis said.

When living in such a small space with another person for nine months, there are bound to be conflicts. It is important that students remember to respect their roommate when dealing with any situation that may arise. The best way to deal with any issue, positive or negative, is to talk to your roommate first.

“Sit down, just you and your roommate, and discuss how what they’re doing is either disrespectful or you just don’t agree with something,” Liz Burant, Dobson Hall senior assistant, said.

“Be open about what you want, and what bothers you,” Little said. It is your home, as well as your roommates, and with different personalities there are bound to be conflicts.

“Schedules are a big conflict, especially when one is a night owl and the other is an early bird,” Little said.

“Students will also learn how to deal with conflict by confronting their roommate,” Little said. If talking with your roommate doesn’t elieviate the situation, residents can also talk to their RA to mediate the conflict.

“It’s important to be proactive and talk about potentially conflicting situations before they happen,” Dalsing said. Roommates will be able to handle the situation better if they know how the other person feels, instead of having to react to it.
“When residents don’t want to tell their roommate that something is bothering them, they tend to let it stay in and build up,” Pietkauskis said.

“Without those boundaries set, a resident will not feel like they can relax in their own room,” Little said. It is important to be able to go and get away from the stress of school in your own room, without that school can be rough for many residents.

“It’s always easier said than done, but once you’ve had to make that difficult conversation start about your roommates cleanliness, or lack thereof, it’s easier to say something about a bigger issue the next time,” Burant said.

It is also important to realize that your roommate doesn’t have to be your best friend, and in many circumstances that is not the case at all, Little said. As long as the line of communication is open, and there is mutual respect for each other and their belongings, then the relationship can still be beneficial without being friends.

“I’ve known many people who never really became friends, but because each knew what the other expected of them, they were great roommates,” Pietkauskis said.

Living with a roommate is a great way to get a taste of the real world and how to handle conflict resolution, Little said. As long as you don’t loose who you are and your own morals, it can be a great experience.

“Each person is different, and when you bring two different people together, there is always that possibility to build off of each other and adapt each others’ strengths,” Pietkauskis said.