We all know the truth of the phrase, “too much of a good thing.” It applies to much in life: desserts, parties, vacations and snow days, to name a few. It also applies, however, to more serious things, such as the difference between being candid and being rude, or to what extent you should exert your opinions on others around you.

My point stems from an epiphany that I experienced the other day. I have a great tendency to be too enthusiastic about attempting to inject a mindset of justice and equality into every aspect of speech and behavior. I demand it to an exhausting extent not only from myself but also from the people around me.

Now, one cannot argue that having respect for the rights of others, being concerned about the welfare of minorities and being outraged by the injustices inflicted upon them is a negative quality. It is extremely important for everyone, regardless of their social standing in life, to recognize that the mindset of society is against minorities in general and that people such as ethnic minorities, women and those of an alternative lifestyle struggle every day in ways to which non-minority members will almost never have to. There is no excuse for people who like to pretend that discrimination and prejudice does not exist, or who constantly belittle people for attempting to earn the rights that they deserve. However, there is a right way and a wrong way to go about raising awareness and educating people about these problems.

Feeling strongly about an issue is not to be condemned; you are entitled to your own opinions and are free to live by them to whatever extent you may wish. But it is unreasonable to expect everyone to find the issues as important as you do, and by demanding others to feel as radically as you feel, you will only make them unwilling to listen to you at all and thus be dismissive of your entire point of view.

The same holds true for my personal Achilles’ heel: the topic of human rights. Saying too much too often, consistently demanding others to be “politically correct” during informal conversation, or being easily offended only annoys the people around you and makes them inclined to write off anything else you might have to say. This is not to say that you should allow others to walk all over you: people far too often do say things that are completely inappropriate or offensive and it is important to call them out on it when they do.

Likewise, you are under no obligation to laugh at or agree with any off-color jokes or remarks that you do not find amusing or truthful, nor should you be made to feel guilty or like you have “no sense of humor” for not doing so. But constantly lecturing everyone around you is only going to hurt your case more than if you never said anything at all.

Essentially, what it all comes down to is this: by having a few main concerns that you address at the appropriate time, you stand a much higher chance of being met with approval and acquiescence than if you nitpick and nag over every tiny detail. By establishing a basic and common understanding, you are not only setting yourself up for success in the future when other issues may arise on which you may wish to voice your opinion, but also placing yourself in a non-threatening environment where you will not feel the need to constantly defend your position, and where the others around you will not feel as though you are trying to unreasonably force your entire viewpoint of the world upon them.