On Feb. 23, comedian Pete Holmes performed for a crowd that only grew with his performance at the Pioneer Crossing.

“Holmes was brought to campus to prove to the students that there is something to do on weekends and to serve as an alternative to going to the bars,” Val Wetzel, assistant director for the Pioneer Student Center, said.

Comedian Pete Holmes tells a joke during his performance at the Pioneer Crossing Feb. 23. Holmes is the second comedian to come to UW-Platteville this semester.

Holmes’ skit started with him questioning how UW-Platteville came up with its logo and asking who haunts the campus because of the nearby cemetery. Holmes concluded the ghost must be Leonardo DiCapro’s character Jack from the movie “Titanic.”

Holmes also pointed out that people rarely have a reason to be scared, but when we are alone we often scare ourselves. For example, Holmes said that when you’ve been driving alone for four hours you suddenly become convinced that a murderer is hiding out in the backseat of your car.

“I would think of that, I would be driving for four hours and out of sheer boredom that would come to mind,” Ryan Hanson, a junior in electrical engineering, said. He also went on to say that Pete Holmes is “one of the best on-campus” comedians he’s seen.

While typing a document, Holmes said that he could help but use the synonym feature on Microsoft Word to see what Bill Gates thought was a good alternative to diarrhea .

“Water farts and thunder [poops] were a definite possibility but not listed,” Holmes said.

Holmes moved on to discussing how people watch movies on TV that they already own on DVD just to see if the outcome is different and how they edited it for television. Using “melon farmer” to replace an expletive in “Die Hard 3″ was one of the funny edits Holmes pointed out.

Holmes concluded his act with people being gullible when it comes to someone telling you they’re adopted, the lessons a piñata teaches a child and peeing in the pool.

Holmes is an improviser and has studied and performed at Boston’s Improve Asylum, Chicago’s Improve Olympic and Playground, and NYC’s Upright Citizens Brigade Theater. Currently Holmes is a cartoonist in New York, designs t-shirts and writes for CollegeHumor.com.