Independence. It’s something that a person of my age seeks for, longs for and lives for. But when we finally gain it, we are unsure of what to do with it, are we not? We take chances, we make mistakes and we learn from it. Sooner or later we realize that all the glory that comes with being independent has faded. We realize that no matter how independent we say we are or need to be, we cannot ever truly be completely independent. We need others in more ways than we ever knew.

We say we can deal without the parents. What do they know anyway? It’s been a long time since they were our age and frankly, things have changed. Anyway, we are adults now, we’re in college learning our trade, fulfilling our dream and we can do that without parents, or so we think. How many of you have parents paying your tuition, sending you money or at least cosigning your loan? All of a sudden you realize, hey my parents know something. And when school’s out where do most of us go? Back to our parents house where they not only feed us, but they do our laundry, just like when we were nine.

Even if you’ve hit that stage where you have your own place, do you find yourself turning to your parents for advice or aid in some way? I’m going to wager most college students have made that late night phone call to mom and dad just hours before this month’s rent was due. If your parents are still buying your Christmas presents for your siblings and saying they are from you, you are dependent.

After high school most of us parted ways with our best friends. We go to different colleges, ready to be our own person and not just part of a circle of people that all think alike or dress alike. We’re ready to completely function without them and be ourselves and make new friends. We become independent from our old selves. We change, develop and find out who we are aside from those we surround ourselves with. Some of us like that person and some of us don’t. Even though we’ve found new friends, many of us will still rely on our old ones to be there when we need them. They’re just a phone call, Facebook or MySpace message away and they answer our calls for help because that BFF promise you made in kindergarten still means something. It’s comforting to know there are still people out there who care about us. We are still dependent on that friendship. It’s our fallback when things go wrong.
Love itself changes in perspective when one enters college as well. Suddenly you may find that you can’t always trust those you meet and sometimes what people say and do are different things. College becomes a downward spiral of love and heartbreak for some and it’s hard to pick yourself up after every downfall. It’s important for my fellow students to remember that college is a time for us to be independent and realize that we can live without someone by our side dictating what we do and planning our weekends for us.

If you are lucky enough to have found love that you can trust and believe in, then more power to you, but if you are still searching, don’t worry. When it’s time for it to happen, it will, and until then work on knowing who you are and being able to stand on your own two feet.

I wish I could say that I am independent. Then maybe my parents wouldn’t be so right, my friends wouldn’t be so necessary and love wouldn’t continue to conquer the few minutes of thought I get outside of school and homework.